The Stress-Strain Relationship

I've spent 3 years of my life doing mechanical engineering, and there's one more year left before graduation. Looking back, there are some things that I've regret doing, friendships lost, relationships broken, and many more. But along the way, I've matured. I've learned a lot. And its worth the sacrifice I made.
There seems to be something that bugs me for quite some time. Yeah. Its been hell of a while. Its about effort. You see, I'm not clever.. and far from being gifted. It takes me 2 hours to study a chapter, while others can do it in 1 hour. But the thing is, I work hard. I don't play at all, and that makes me a very dull person. My life revolves around my work. And my work only. I've to admit, sometimes I do feel jealous for my peers that seem to take life easy and performing quite well in their studies. I am jealous, because I don't seem to have enough time for everything.. but they on the other hand, are enjoying life at its fullest. Although I perform better, but its not that significant.. its like I get 3.55 and they get 3.47 for cgpa.



Sometimes, it made me question God's work and His great plan.. although I know I shouldn't. I wish I have the freedom of doing what I like. Sometimes, I do cry at night in bed. My life is hard, and it is so because I chose it that way. I cry because I couldn't change.. I'm destined to be a hard worker. It just doesn't seem fair, for some to achieve so greatly with such little effort.. while people like me walked through hell and back. Its not fair when you have to go through 4 levels of job interview, while others get their job because of 'connections'. Its not fair.



Though I always keep in mind, that hard work will pay off someday.. at least that's what I do to keep myself contented. I've seen people who work so hard, just to experience failure in the end. And for some weird reason, I feel that I'm destined to live life that way.

Hence, my blog's title : Attempting the Impossible.

Its like I want to go against all things destined for me. And to be successful in the end, to be able to say : "Look, this is what I get after years of pure hard work."
I don't believe in working smart only. People who only work smart, are lazy. They don't work hard, and I believe that we only get what we worked for.
But all that is about to change.. on wednesday the 7th, I did an awfully stupid and careless mistake during my component design test. I didn't look carefully at the weld sign, and that has cost me very dearly. Nearly half of my marks are gone. I might get a maximum score of 50%, and only if my first question is 100% correct.



*A typical welding design problem*



*And I chose no. 4, while its actually weld type no. 5!!!!*



*An example of an optional bolt design question*

After that incident, I began questioning myself. For all the effort that I've put up.. was gone in a split second. The more jovial and relaxed type of student however, answered it correctly.. and with little problem.

Was this God's judgement on me? I don't know.

*sigh*
anyway, time for some lousy picture break.






Oh, its been really hot here lately. I'm wearing sleeveless on a daily basis at home. Need some rain. Please God, end this sudorific climate soon. :(



*Me sweating. Reminds me of Aathi Iswaran. ;p *